Warning....
Don't read this unless you want to hear me rant... seriously.
You have been warned.
Fancy me this:
Anti-Depressants. Why do doctors call them anti-depressants, if oddly enough you take them- and they don't do a damn bit of good? It's just a random thought...
No, not really. I'm supposed to be happy, damn it! Not this... mess that I have been tonight., and every other night for that matter. I'm perfectly fine most of the day, and then the little things just start getting to me. Screwing up with attempting to do something around the house. My dad suffering when I can't do a thing about it to help him. Mom in one of her 'bad moods' because I screwed up somehow... (Apparently I do that often... either that, or she's just in a funk).
Damn, this cycle with Bear sucks! I'm not kidding... it seriously and literally sucks. On top of it all, I'm just pissed off at organized religion right now... beyond. WHY do you need a religion to prove that you believe in God?
Why do Christians feel this need to go to church EVERY Sunday? It's usually just for freakin' publicity, anyway in most cases. THINK about it! "Oh, I have to go to church today because everyone is expecting me to be there..." or "Oh my gosh! Is Marcus going to be there? I have to look my best to impress him! I really, truly do! If he likes religious girls... I'm going to try to become that way!"
No! Bull crap. Oh, and what's up with most of all of them being homophobic in some way? Being lesbian, gay or bisexual is NOT a sin, damn it. They are NOT going to burn in hell. It's just life. If you fall in love with a member of the same sex... how is that a crime? Ugh. It makes me shake my head every time.
I've come to this conclusion! I don't need all of that... bullsh*t. I really, truly don't. I don't need to go to a Mosque, Synagogue, Mass, or any other religious site to prove that I love God with all my heart and know that I'll meet him someday. No, no. I just don't. I'm sick and tired of trying to find an answer, when I know in my heart, mind, and soul that he exists, and will forgive me for all the wrong-doing that I've done in my past. I'm human... I'm going to screw up. Doesn't it say in the Bible that God forgives all sinners? Well... if that's truly the case, I'm on safe ground. Though I am a bit ticked at the man... Why the hell is He making my dad go through all of this? In case He didn't know already... he's suffering- BIG time. And in a lot of pain.
The answer to THAT question will be interesting to try to find out someday.... (That is if I even make it to heaven). On that happy note, I leave you with this quote. It is literally one of my favorites:
"I'd rather live my life as if there is a God, and die and find out there isn't, than live my life believing that there isn't a God, and die to find out there in fact, is."
Alright, now that I've said that- I feel much better. If it makes me sound like a total, complete bitch- I'm sorry. I'm really not... I'm just very opinionated, and am starting to discover myself in a whole new level of understanding. I fully intend to always hold my "sacred, wonderfully sweet" heart, mind, and soul. Bear loves me. My mom loves me. My friends in our community love me. GOD loves me! What more can I ask for?
Absolutely nothing. Yes, I've had my rollercoaster of emotions for the past few months now, but hey- it's life. And I have to lean on God, my family, and Que Sera Sera. Whatever will be... will be.
Love you all... I hope you have a fantastic night.
-Wendy R. Berry
Don't read this unless you want to hear me rant... seriously.
You have been warned.
Fancy me this:
Anti-Depressants. Why do doctors call them anti-depressants, if oddly enough you take them- and they don't do a damn bit of good? It's just a random thought...
No, not really. I'm supposed to be happy, damn it! Not this... mess that I have been tonight., and every other night for that matter. I'm perfectly fine most of the day, and then the little things just start getting to me. Screwing up with attempting to do something around the house. My dad suffering when I can't do a thing about it to help him. Mom in one of her 'bad moods' because I screwed up somehow... (Apparently I do that often... either that, or she's just in a funk).
Damn, this cycle with Bear sucks! I'm not kidding... it seriously and literally sucks. On top of it all, I'm just pissed off at organized religion right now... beyond. WHY do you need a religion to prove that you believe in God?
Why do Christians feel this need to go to church EVERY Sunday? It's usually just for freakin' publicity, anyway in most cases. THINK about it! "Oh, I have to go to church today because everyone is expecting me to be there..." or "Oh my gosh! Is Marcus going to be there? I have to look my best to impress him! I really, truly do! If he likes religious girls... I'm going to try to become that way!"
No! Bull crap. Oh, and what's up with most of all of them being homophobic in some way? Being lesbian, gay or bisexual is NOT a sin, damn it. They are NOT going to burn in hell. It's just life. If you fall in love with a member of the same sex... how is that a crime? Ugh. It makes me shake my head every time.
I've come to this conclusion! I don't need all of that... bullsh*t. I really, truly don't. I don't need to go to a Mosque, Synagogue, Mass, or any other religious site to prove that I love God with all my heart and know that I'll meet him someday. No, no. I just don't. I'm sick and tired of trying to find an answer, when I know in my heart, mind, and soul that he exists, and will forgive me for all the wrong-doing that I've done in my past. I'm human... I'm going to screw up. Doesn't it say in the Bible that God forgives all sinners? Well... if that's truly the case, I'm on safe ground. Though I am a bit ticked at the man... Why the hell is He making my dad go through all of this? In case He didn't know already... he's suffering- BIG time. And in a lot of pain.
The answer to THAT question will be interesting to try to find out someday.... (That is if I even make it to heaven). On that happy note, I leave you with this quote. It is literally one of my favorites:
"I'd rather live my life as if there is a God, and die and find out there isn't, than live my life believing that there isn't a God, and die to find out there in fact, is."
Alright, now that I've said that- I feel much better. If it makes me sound like a total, complete bitch- I'm sorry. I'm really not... I'm just very opinionated, and am starting to discover myself in a whole new level of understanding. I fully intend to always hold my "sacred, wonderfully sweet" heart, mind, and soul. Bear loves me. My mom loves me. My friends in our community love me. GOD loves me! What more can I ask for?
Absolutely nothing. Yes, I've had my rollercoaster of emotions for the past few months now, but hey- it's life. And I have to lean on God, my family, and Que Sera Sera. Whatever will be... will be.
Love you all... I hope you have a fantastic night.
-Wendy R. Berry
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